Turning Piles of Shit into Gold

When he walked into the room, I didn’t really think much.  His hair was gray and he was slight and had these eyes that seemed to just stare through you, like he was looking at something much more important on the other side of you.  His attitude was sullen and I guess why wouldn’t it be? My job was to help those on public assistance find jobs.  That really should have been it, all of it, right there. He was going on my case load, I was going to help him find work and that was that.    He filled out his work history and left as soon as humanly possible.

I called him up the next week as per my job duties to help give him some job search opportunities and he began to flirt.  Quite effectively, I might add.  I had a recollection of his disdain for the process and saw from his application that he had spent the last year in prison for white collar crime.  Warning bell? Yes.  I put a stop to the flirting and told him to be sure to be in the office for his appointment the next week. I handed his case file to someone else in the office just to put a stop to our interaction once and for all. 

The other case worker said, “I know him. My husband said he could turn a pile of shit into gold.” I told her his last pile of shit had obviously fallen short because it landed him in prison.  She went on to regale me of the small town tales of how he’d taken the fall for his father in law and that none of it was his fault. All very Lifetime Movie about how his wife was less than a stellar example of spouse-hood and had run off with some man she’d met on the internet and left his two older children and his house and horses and etc. to fall to ruin.  That he was a stellar guy, a stand-up guy, a real treasure who’d gotten a bum rap. Ok whatever, here’s his file. I don’t need the headache.

That should have been it.  I don’t believe in fate anymore. I believe in cause and effect.  Cause, he started chasing me…effect, I let him. Me=such a dumbass. I’m not going to pretend the entire relationship was bad and miserable.  Obviously, it wasn’t or there would have been nothing to draw me into his web.  At first, it was the most exciting, titillating, exhilarating thing I’d ever been part of.  We talked on the phone for hours; we met secretly at seedy motels. When the kids were with their grandmother, I’d get in his truck and take road trips with him stopping at roadside parks to steam up the windows.  He worshipped my body, he fed my soul.  He was a take-charge man who made me feel like a woman.  I didn’t worry about anything when I was with him.

This is pretty much how I felt at the time. 

The first super crazy warning bell that I effectively hit the snooze on was the first time he asked me for money.  He said he had a lumber deal and needed seed money and would double my money in a week.  I said lumber? Deal? Double money?  I asked if it was an illegal operation and he said of course not!! I just need the money to pay the laborers up front and rent the equipment and when we cash in, I’ll pay you back double. 

I was a single mom, living with my ex’s mother. Trying to find a place for me and my heathens to live.  I had money saved for this.  Did I dare turn it loose?  Guess what? He’s good at what he does.  I wrote him a check for $600 and then stayed sick to my stomach over it for an entire week.  The kids are off with their Granny one and night he calls, I’m at home alone.   

He says, “Hey I got your money, can I stop by?” I’m thinking thank God and hell yes you can stop by…I told him very calmly, “Sure come on over.”

He walked in and said, “I don’t have time to fuck around, I gotta drop this off and go.”

I did not object. He leaned over and pulled his boot off and money…cash money… went flying EVERYWHERE. He gave me a story about some of the money being to pay for cattle and some of it being for the lumber deal and there was nothing nefarious but at that moment, I was so relieved that he came through for me; I didn’t care what he had to say.   We both started laughing and scrambling around picking up hundred dollar bills.  It was surreal and crazy and exhilarating. He counted out $1200 and gave it to me.  I was flushed with excitement and so was he. 

Then he grabbed me and kissed me and said, “Well I guess I got time to fuck around a little.”